*bo...

*bows to Twig and bestows many thanks* I've been searching for pictures of The Bow forever and now I have them! Icon madness shall follow. Not to mention The Fur Hat! Bonus! How Should Your Death Be Marked? brought to you by Quizilla

So they c...

So they cloned a baby. Today is my sister's birthday. Seventeen. That's insane. My baby sister is seventeen. Ugh. It makes me feel impossibly old. I bet my mom feels REALLY old. It's her birthday, and can I go see her? NOOOOOOOOOOOO. I have to work. Oh, how I would love to call into work today. But that would be evil of me, and besides, I need the money.The only good thing about going to work is after-x-mas clearance! WOOO HOOO! I got a canister set yesterday and two huge pine candles. Today, I'm getting an electric can opener, "glowing tiers" candle/fountain set, and some Oreos. Yes, OREOS! WHITE FUDGE COVERED OREOS! LIFE IS GOOD!I faced one of my childhood fears last night and watched a Freddy Krueger movie. Ugh. I'm still scared out of my wits by him, but it wasn't so bad. He didn't show up as much as I thought he would. His run still scares me though. *shudder*I don't have much else to say.I'm big and longI fancy Elves.The only one that will ever look good in tights. Oh yea.Which culture from Middle-Earth do you fancy?By Hannah and Dani Where Did Your Soul Originate? brought to you by Quizilla Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You? brought to you by Quizilla What Lord of the Rings Male and Mood Do You Desire? brought to you by Quizilla which eye are you? brought to you by Quizilla The Ultimate *Which Harry Potter Character are You?* Quiz brought to you by Quizilla Which member of the Fellowship (LotR)'s Ass would you like to kick? brought to you by Quizilla

I could probab...

I could probably say this was the shittiest x-mas ever, but that's probably going overboard. It could have been a lot worse, but it was pretty rancid. Presents were just as pathetic as Mom kept saying, but that's so not what is important to me. It was just the fact that I could remember years before coming downstairs and seeing our tree absolutely surrounded and it just made me happy to know that we COULD afford things. Or rather, we couldn't, but Mom managed somehow. *sigh*I did get what I wanted though, and I kept telling Mom the best present is that she's alive. Two x-mases ago, it wasn't a certainty that she would be. It was great to be with Ash all day too. I got the LOTR Extended version, the new Disturbed CD, a calendar, razor blades, "The Patriot" on VHS, and a candle. The candle was sort of like, "uhhhhh..." but I love them so who cares. Ash was so excited because she got me a LOTR poster, and I love it.Went to Mamaw's and saw the family. Dad actually showed up, albeit an hour late, and he was sick. But he gave me a shell necklace, 45 bucks, and some Pez, plus a letter saying how he was sorry he's been a shitty dad and how he wants to have a relationship now. I'm not sure how to react to that. When I have time to actually think about it, it might sound all right. At the present time, however, it sounds like a bunch of bullshit.Now I'm home and I'm more sad than ever, but it's all right. I'll be all right. I always am.Plus, I got enough money to get "Dangerous Lady" and to buy Ash the Revo Styler for her birthday. She'll be 17 on Friday. That's just insane to me.Off to order mucho Jason goodness.

...

I think the highlight of Raw last night was this..."We are all hungry hippos and the marbles represent obstacles that block our Ch'i."RVD SAID CH'I! That rocked my work.Happy holidays or whatnot to everyone. Today was a murderous day at work, but what was I expecting?I have no time for much. The family is beckoning. What swear word are you? brought to you by Quizilla

Am I psycho?

The other night while I was suffering from the worst of the stomach virus, I had this dream/hallucination that I was involved in something called The Grub Wars. My shoulder was hurt for some reason, and I was fighting in a battle, but other than that, I can't remember anything.So I thought, hey, maybe I'm insane. Then I looked up Grub Wars on line and it turns out that The Grub Wars are part of a space game called Silent Death that I had no prior knowledge of.I'm crazy. I know it.On the upside, it did give me an idea for a story that has now become a book idea. WOOO!

Could today have been more vomitous?

The answer, my friends and rivals, is no.X-mas makes people insane, I'm sure of it. The customers of CVS are already annoying fucktards, but I think the holidays make them even more so. Why the hell do people wait until the last fucking minute to buy wrapping paper, bows, and tape? WHY!?! I swear, it's days like the one that I had today that make me want to blow up CVS and go on the news and tell everyone that yes, I did it, and no, I'm not sorry. I think when they find me huddled in a corner surrounded by dead bodies muttering "CVS...Do you have your ExtraCare card? CVS...CVS..." they will realize they have pushed me too far.*sigh* Center yourself, Brooke. It's really not that bad. At least you have a job, right?Me, Leish, and Billy have been playing the shit out of "Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance". It's one fun ass game. "Mortal Kombat" has been an obsession of mine for years and years, and this is the culmination of it all. Wooooooo hooooooooooo.Now I am tired.

*SCREAMS AND DIES*

From gloomygus.org</i>"Resident Evil 2: Nemesis will see the return of the dogs and the Licker from the first film along with 2 new creatures from the games, Milla Jovovich's Alice character will meet Jill Valentine (marrying up the world of the movie with the world/characters of the games), the film will take place over one night in Raccoon City and will be "very Omega Man"; Anderson said he'd be interested to see the response from film certification boards to the violence in the sequel being above ground and set in the real world as opposed to the violence in the original being in an underground fanatsy environment, to which censors in some countries were quite lenient. A role for Jason Isaacs has been written into the RE2 script with another "great death scene" following demises in previous Anderson films Event Horizon and Soldier." In August of 2001, in an interview that appears on Ain't It Cool News, Paul Anderson jokes that he is going to bring his friend Jason Isaacs in for some re-shoots of the film so that he can kill him off in a grizzly way. Mr. Isaacs has a brief appearance as one of the doctors in the film as well as provides the narration.</i>DOES IT NEVER END!?!?! Why do they kill him off? WHYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!Doesn't matter though. My favorite actor in the sequel to the movie of my favorite video game? What more could I want? And what the FUCK is going to kill him? Cleaner? Nemesis? Tyrant? WHO CARES! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

It's the little things...

You know what really pisses me off? Okay, so I'm watching "Event Horizon" for the hundreth time, marveling in Jason's ultimate greatness, and for the hundreth time, questions come to mind.1. What's the big huge scar running down D.J.'s chest?I mean, that thing is MASSIVE. You can see it twice--a little bit when he first shows up and gives Weir the shot, and then really well when Weir throws him on the exam table and proceeds to slice and dice him. Why put that detail in if you're NOT GOING TO EXPLAIN IT!?! DAMN YOU, PAUL ANDERSON!2. Why does he suddenly go psycho and then is fine the next minute?So, one minute he's fine, then the next he's holding a scalpel to Smith's throat and whispering all scary like in his ear, then the next minute, he's fine again and Miller's all "You okay?" WHAT THE FUCK? Oh, no big deal, folks. Our trauma guy just has these episodes where he flips out and tries to kill one of us.3. How did he and Miller meet?D.J. makes the comment to Miller "I've known you a long time..." Where did they meet? When? What the hell, man?4. Why is he always so FUCKING grouchy?He's a Gloomy Gus all right, but it's sort of cute.And maybe I'm just reading too much into it, but he and Smith seem to have an...odd relationship. Heh heh.Alas...my questions will forever go unanswered.

Ohhhhhh soooooo sick...

The stomach virus attacked me and showed no mercy. Me and Leish went home to visit Mom, and we were watching that Ya-Ya movie and looking at pictures and all the sudden, I threw up everywhere. What followed was a night filled with every bodily function imaginable. Not good. Not good at all.Mom called in for me today. John was soooooooo mad, but if I had gone, I would have been useless. I still feel like shit, so I will now retire to watch "Even Horizon" and "The Patriot" one last time before I have to take them back. Oh, Jason...make me feel better.Oh, went and Saw Two Towers the other night. Good stuff. Lots o' yummy Legolas, and OMG how in love with Aragorn is he? It was even more blatantly obvious. Good movie though. Not worth three hours if you ask me, but very good.Good night. I hope I don't throw up anymore.

If you love Jason Isaacs as much as I do...

which probably isn't possible, then you must cheat, steal, lie, and kill to somehow see "Dangerous Lady". This is the ultimate Jason movie...Irish/Brittish mobster guy who is gay and kicks everybody's ass. What more could you want? I must find 36 bucks so I can order it from amazon.com.I felt that I needed to share that before I went to bed.

Ryann was here...

Ryann was here. She's not here anymore. My shoulder really fucking hurts. I'm too tired to say anymore.

KABLAM!

That's my word for the day: KABLAM! That's how I feel. Like I could explode at any moment, but it's a good kind of exploding. Can exploding ever be a good thing? Well, it can now.I'm feeling MUCH better. I still get the pain that I describe as the "spear stabbing into my soul" pain, but it's only when I turn to the left, bend over, or laugh. IMPROVEMENT! I went back to work, and even though I got made fun of because of my limp, it was all right. I was hella tired and hella hurting when I left, but it's good that things are back to normal. Nicole told me I was an Ewok. That was strange. I got my new favorite saying from her: SHUT UP AND LIKE IT. As well as the newest, which is a threat that no one can laugh at: I'LL PUNCH YOU AND RUN.X-mas is officially cancelled. I have no money.But I did get to go shoppin with Kevin for my X-mas on Saturday. Here's a rundown of the things I got:From Hot Topic:--skull cardigan (I've been wanting this thing for WEEKS! DEATH EATER SWEATER!)--skull necklace--Joseph Vargo "Born of the Night" calendar--lighter and cigarette case with skull and crossbones on it (DEATH EATER STUFF! ROCK ASS!From Bath and Body Works:--lotion in Night-Blooming Jasmine, Moonlight Path, and something with ginger that smells hella goodFrom FYE:--"WWE ANTHOLOGY"--"Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" OSTFrom Wal-Mart (Hey, I'm a redneck)--boxer shorts with metallic pink flamingos on themFrom Waldenbooks:--Feng Shui Do's and Taboos--The Sorceror's Companion (Guide to all that is Harry Potter)And finally and most awesomely---A FUCKING CREDIT CARD! AND KEVIN PAYS THE BILL! *DIES* Only for emergencies..."Oh, I simply HAD to have those boots. It was an emergency. Mine were dirty."MWUAHAHAHA. I love X-Mas.I must sleep now. Work tomorrow. *throws up*

The Slow Road to Recovery

First let me say thank you to everyone who sent me well wishes and such. It really brightened up my otherwise crappy day.I'm feeling better, but not by much. Still can't bend over, kneel down, or laugh without a stabbing pain. It should go away eventually. I'm going back to work tomorrow--finally. Should be fun.Well, off to wallow in my pain.

My first car accident...well, not an accident really

I had planned to muse and post tonight, but my day didn't go so well.Leish and I were on our way back from CVS with our tiny Christmas tree and our stockings and hot chocolate when a girl pulled out in front of us and we slammed into her. We spun off into oncoming traffic and she went further up the road and slammed into a truck. Leish's car is destroyed. The airbag smacked her in the face but saved her life because she wasn't wearing her seatbelt, but her finger is jammed, she tore up her inner lip, and her knees are severely bruised. I was wearing a shoulder harness, and it basically tore me in two, so we think I've got a severely bruised/possibly fractured sternum. I smacked into the dashboard so hard that I split the glove compartment in two, ripping a hole in my knee. As it is, Leish can't walk and I can't lean over, lean back, lift anything, or get up without help. The girl that pulled out in front of us...she was in bad shape. They had to cut her out of the car, and that's all we know. They towed the car, with all our Christmas stuff in it, along with my cigarettes. Bastards.So I'm going to take a few days to recooperate and try to find out if the girl is okay.Everything happens for a reason. I'm trying to remember that to get me through this. Meanwhile, I'm in a lot of pain because some girl couldn't wait for us to pass by her to get out of Dairy Queen. Really makes you think.Anyway, that's where I am, and I'll try to get better soon.

Snow=LIBERATION

I didn't go to work AGAIN! This snow rocks all kinds of ass. These last two days have been very great for me. I've done nothing but play Uno and watch TV, but it's been lovely. We went and saw Potter again tonight (6 times for me now). The highlight of our outing into le pays de neige beaucoup was Leish screaming, "EXPELLIARMUS!" at the top of her lungs exactly when Severus says it in the movie. Good Gaia, I never laughed so hard.One week and Ryann will be here! WOOOO HOOOOO! *does happy goth dance* She will scoff at our Hot Topic, but I do not care. I haven't gone into a mall since the holiday season started, and I will take her to our mall if it kills me! Hopefully, Robby won't be a fucker and will be home on the 13th and 14th. He better! STAR TREK, BITCHES! *does the Trekkie dance*I just thought of something. Ryann coming to visit means I have to clean my room. DAMMIT.Whoa, I just found my sparkly black toe-socks and they're CLEAN. Oh, life is good.I think I will go to bed and or try to write.

Stolen from...

Stolen from crucifiedxdoll 'cause I'm a bloody THIEF! + name: Brooke+ birthday: 9/30+ nicknames: ugh...here we go...Brookie, Brookie Boo, B, Brooker T, Brodice (don't ask)+ location: Louisville+ what are you doing right now? Listening to the Mission UK--WEEEEEEE!+ what are you wearing?: track pants and *gasp* and Old Navy shirt--just don't tell anyone.+ do you like your neighbors?: They're sort of loud, but not as loud as the two before them, and they haven't murdered anyone yet, so it's an improvement+ whats your magic number?: 27+ do you smoke, drink, or do drugs?: Yup, yup, and yup. + favorites ++ color: green, black, silver+ friend: GAH! What kind of question is this?+ car: black Caddy Biarritz with silver trim and grey interior--MEOW!+ food: Oreos+ drink: Mt. Dew+ store: Hot Topic+ outfit: My 'glitter goth' pants, black fisnet over red tube top, and my bowling shoes+ boyfriend/girlfriend: n/a They've all been pretty shitty so far+ song: Absolute favorite? Hmmmm..."More" by Bobby Darin+ band/singer: Aerosmith, Stabbing Westward, Lifehouse, Snake River Conspiracy, etc. etc+ movie: "The Godfather: Part II"+ pair of socks: my Slytherin toe socks+ saying: "I love Muggles. They taste like chicken."+ animal: Puffin+ when was the last time you . . . ++ showered: yesterday before I SOOO didn't go to work+ kissed some one: I can't even remember. Probably last week before Doug left. Gay bastard...kissing me like he's straight! FUCKER!+ went to a movie: tonight, actually. Harry Potter for the SIXTH time. I'm sick.+ cried: blah. I hate having cry-face. I don't remember+ talked on the phone: this evening when I told my boss I wouldn't be in on time tomorrow+ paged someone: HA. Does anybody really even have a pager anymore?+ lied: today when I said I was stranded in by the snow+ cheated on someone: n/a+ ate nerds: Shoooooo...it's been a while. I miss Nerds Blizzards.+ drank welchs grape juice: never have+ watched the country channel: this morning+ shaved ANY part of you body and what part: yesterday morning, under my arms. My legs are getting kind of unruly.+ relationships ++ do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend: no+ have you ever been in love: I used to scoff at this question, but now...I'm a little confused.+ who was the best kisser: Ugh...I don't have a very good frame of reference.+ whats the best present you've gotten from someone: Materialistically? My Gryffindor scarf+ what qualities do you like in a guy or girl: intelligence, tolerance, having things in common with me, and most importantly UNDERSTANDING ME+ what do you and your friends do for fun: You mean, me and my one friend? Well the one that I see all the time...we play video games and Uno constantly and watch TV. All the fucking time. We're hermits. We never leave our apartment.+ who is your oldest friend, that you've known the longest: Doug+ who is your funniest: Ryann+ who is your happiest friend: are any of them truly happy?+ who is your most annoying friend: Blah...I don't know+ who is always there for you: Leish, Doug, Robby, Kris, Ryann+ best guy friend: Robby+ friend who could be more: *ahem*+ random ++ are you a virgin: medically, yes+ worst kiss: Derrick, bar none+ anyone you think is homosexual: hahahahahaha...don't think, I know+ do you know anyone named LeRoy: ummm, no+ do you like pickles: yes+ do you have a website: hahahaha...several+ do you watch PORN: Yes, and I LOVE IT+ are you black: no+ do you wish you were black: no+ who you gonna vote for: whoever my mom tells me to+ do you have your own phone line: yes, in my name and everything+ your thoughts on abortion: a woman's choice+ what do you want for christmas: MONEY+ do you have your 2 front teeth: yes+ what do you want to do with your life: enjoy it+ would you ever get plastic surgery if so on what: I'd get a nose job if no one would notice and a breast reduction+ biggest redneck you know: NICK+ last time you went to the bowling alley: six months ago. I suck at bowling+ what perfume/cologne do you wear: I don't. Why smell fake?+ do you think foreign accents are sexy: Shoooo buddy YES+ do you like jell-o if so what flavor: NOOOOOOOOOO+ do you like hot dogs if so do you know whats in them: I LOVE THEM and no I don't care what's in them.+ brand of toothpaste: Colgate+ last time you went to the doctor: Haaaaaa....in April, maybe? I thought I had ear cancer.+ do you have a credit card? no+ do you love your mom: yes+ ever taken ballet: yes+ favoite juice: Grapefruit+ last time you used the restroom: about twenty minutes ago+ most attractive person: UGH I hate these questions+ any diseases if so what are they: Ummm....mental ones for sure. I do have SADD though+ last book you read: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Again+ white, dark, or milk chocolate: dark+ ever died your hair: I've dyed it so many times it might fall out.+ what brand shampoo: STRICTLY CURLS, BABY!+ favorite holiday: Christmas+ thing you hate most about your body: hmmm...the size of it+ last time you smoked: Two minutes ago+ do you have to do chores if so what are they: I live on my own...everything is a chore+ last thing you bought: Sour Patch Kids at the movies+ m0re rand0m . . ++ are you stressed out: Not as of late+ what do you wear to the beach: I avoid the beach if at all possible. Sun=sickness for Brooke+ do you belive in angels: no+ would you ever join the army: no+ do you want a puppy: YES+ ever had a kick me sign on you: no+ how about a lick me sign: no+ favorite icing: chocolate+ are you a flirt: no+ last time you were scared: Hmmmmmm...a few weeks ago+ by what?: talking to a certain German fellow+ last party you went to: I avoid parties+ do you do your own laundry: NEVER+ what detergent do you use: Whatever is on sale+ what fabric softner do you use: see above+ are your nails real or fake: Real and growing into talons, hopefully+ do you get jiggy with it: no+ what do you wish you were named: Sacharissa+ favorite actress/actor: JASON ISAACS! GOOD GAIA! *SWOONTHUD*+ are your parents divorced: yes+ would you ever wear a waterbra: no, I've got enough already+ do you work out: I used to but not since my VCR broke+ are you muscular: no+ are you flabby: ugh...yes+ do you take a lot of pictures: I love to take pictures.+ favorite tv show: While You Were Out+ do you want a baby: .....................+ ever thought you were pregnant: yes, and that's something because it would have to be by immaculate conception. I haven't given birth to any messiahs yet though+ last time you were sick: I was sick last week.+ butter or margarine: butter+ your feelings on mcdonald chicken nuggets: I love them. I could live happily forever with them+ do you believe in santa claus: no+ do you go tanning: Oh, sure, I love to lay in a bed and bake my skin. I love that fake look. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO+ are you in love?: I don't know really+ do you have a car: yes+ do you have your license?: yes+ got milk: it's probably old and gross and I don't drink it anyway+ do you sniff markers: oh Gaia...not any more. I have no short term memory because of that shit.+ are you dissatisfied with your hair color: yes+ what magazines do you get: none I can't afford them+ do you believe your horoscope: yes+ what's your sign: Libra+ even more random . . ++ do u like coffee: no+ do you write in pen or pencil: pen+ are you ghetto: yes, sadly+ favorite lip gloss: I don't use it+ do you wear a watch: Why? Time is cyclical anyway+ any siblings: 1 real, 1 step, and 3 sorta kinda step+ do you know how to yo yo: no+ what color are your underwear: whiteName: BrookeBirthdate: 9/30Birthplace: LouisvilleCurrent Location: LouisvilleEye Color: dark brownHair Color: right now? Sort of orangey brownRighty or Lefty: rightyZodiac Sign: LibraInnie or Outie: innie, thank GaiaTwo-describeYour heritage: I honestly don't know. My dad is adopted, but I get Polish and Lithuanian from my momThe shoes you wore today: my bowling shoesYour hair: curly and frizzy--Hermione hair.Your eyes: dark brown...almost blackYour weakness: too numerous to countYour fears: being chasedYour perfect pizza: sausage and cheeseOne thing you'd like to achieve: happinessThree-what isYour most overused phrase on aim: LMAOYour thoughts first waking up: "Do I have to work today?"The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: eyes, and this is weird, but if their eyebrows match their eyesYour best physical feature: my eyesYour bedtime: whenever I pass outYour greatest accomplishment: learning to live with depressionYour most missed memory: My parents when their marriage was goodFour- You preferPepsi or coke: PepsiMcdonalds or BurgerKing: McDonaldsSingle or group dates: singleAdidas or Nike: NEITHER, YOU FUCKING CORPORATE WHORESChocalate or Vanilla: chocolateCappucino or coffee: neitherBoxers or briefs: it doesn't matterFive- do yousmoke: yes, wooooooooooooCuss: too much Sing well: folks say I do, but I don't think soTake a shower everyday: noHave a crush on someone: I plead the fifthDo you think you've been in love: I have no ideaWant to go to college: I did to go college. Two colleges. I hated them both.Liked high scool: at some pointsWant to get married: neverType with your fingers on the right keys: Of courseBelieve in yourself: most of the timeGet motion sickness: nopeThink your attractive: nopeThink your a health freak: nopeGet along with your parents: that's parent--singular--and yesLike thunderstorms: hate them hate them hate themPlay an instrument: yesSix- In the past 6 months, did/have you (a month tells of nothing)drink: yessmoke: yesdone a drug: yeshad sex: nomade out: noGo on a date: noGo to the mall: yesEaten a entire box of oreos: YES OH MY GAIA YES! OREO OREO OREOEaten sushi: noBeen on stage: noBeen dumped: noGone skating: noMade homemade cookies: yesBeen in love: n/aGone skinny dipping: noDyed you hair: yesStolen anything: yesPlayed a game that required removal of clothing: noBeen trashed or extremely intoxicated: yesBeen caught "doing something": noBeen called a tease: noGotten beat up: yesChanged who you were to fit in: NOOOOOOOEight- the futureAge you hoped to be married: NEVERNumbers and names of children: 0 n/aHow do you want to die: quickly and painlesslyWhere do you want to go to college: NOWHEREWhat do you want to be when you grow up: happyWhat country would you most like to visit: EGYPT...England, France, and Ireland tooBest eye color: greyBest hair color: darkShort or long hair: eitherBest height: it doesn't matter. I'm short. I get over itBest weight: it really doesn't matterBest article of clothing: FISHNETBest first date location: who caresBest first kiss location: is there anything such as a best first kiss anything?Ten- number ofGirls you've kissed: 4Number of girls you've made out with: 1Number of girls you've had: 1Number of boys you've kissed: 4Number of boys you've made out with: never hadNumber of boys you've had: 0Number of boys you've been truly in love with: 0Number of drugs taken illegally: 1Number of people you can trust with your life: 2Number of cd's I own: somewhere around 100Number of piercings: 0Number of tattoos: 6Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: 10 or 11Number of scars on my body: holy hera, who knowsNumber of things in my past I regret: NONEWho do you like: quite a few peopleWho likes you: quite a few people, I thinkWhat annoys you: hypocrites, bigots, close-minded redneck assholes, that damn Draw Four card in UNOWhat do you want to do: be happyWho is one person you never get sick of: Ryann and RobbyWho is one person you'd marry tomorrow: RYANN--HAAAAA!Do you sleep on your back, belly or side: combinationDo you like water: yesWhat place are you like a kid in a candy store: Hot Topic, Claire'sIf you could kiss one person before you died who would it be: there are quite a fewWhats the worst thing to do on a date: ummm...throw up on the person, I guessIn the last 48 hours have you:Cried: noBought something: yesGotten sick: noSang: yesEaten: yesBeen kissed: noFelt stupid: yesWanted to tell someone you loved them: yesMet someone new: noTalk to an ex: noMissed an ex: NOOOOOOOOOOOOTalked to someone you had a crush on: n/aHad a serious talk: noMissed someone: YESHugged someone: yesFought with your parents: noDreamed about someone you can't be with: yesFinally done. Geez, V...you make it hard to steal from you

EDIT: What a day...

I didn't go to work. It started snowing at 10:15 in the morning and now at 1:21 a.m, it still hasn't stopped. Everything is frozen. I sort of like that idea. Of course, if I run out of cigarettes, there might be trouble. Billy came over to be snowed in with us. Me, Leish, and him played Uno for hours. Leish won...again. Bitch. Partook in illegal substances for the first time in a while, and SHOOO BUDDY was it great. Played GTA:VC some more too. Damn, that is one fun game.For some reason, I feel like I need to explain my extended absence from the net. Well, not really an absence. I'm just avoiding talking to anyone or doing anything short of update my journal and check my mail. I don't want to call it overkill, or say that I'm burnt out because that isn't exactly accurate. This is a time for me. I am the important one right now, and in order for that to happen, I need to be alone. I've spent nearly two years developing this on-line persona, only to find that when tried in real life, it's just not fun. "Evil Brooke" isn't me anymore, hence the LJ change. "Evil Brooke" died earlier this week, and "Self-Aware Brooke" emerged. That isn't to say that I'm not the person I was last week. I am, just a slightly more "evolved" version.On a more superficial level, a lot of what I do on-line centers around wrestling, and I find that, as of late, it simply holds no interest for me. I only watch Raw to see Hunter, and even that is starting to be a chore. I never thought I'd say such a thing, but it is true. Without my inspiration, I simply cannot be this person that I have become when I am on this computer. I hang on, however, "just in case."Ryann with be here in just over a week! WEEEEEEEE! Oh, it's so over. Our adventures together in Valpo are bad enough, but now we're on my home turf, BABY. Much fun in my future do I see.My Jason!Lust was at an all-time low today! Not good for my Ch'i, I can assure you. Tomorrow might have to be a Jason day. Yes, I believe that is a good idea. If only I owned "The Patriot"...DAMMIT.OOOH, I forgot! Big thanks to Doug for my new Hunter lighter. He's got that hideous jacket on, but he looks too yummy for words. This makes fifteen Hunter lighters. Of course, 14 of them are the same thing, but who cares.I went with Ravenclaw house colors for my nail polish today, in case anyone wanted to know.Heh, random moment of amusement. That Pepsi Blue (aka. Drink Motor Oil, Why Don't You?) commerical with the monks and the band is actually a song. And the band...it's called SEV! That was just too funny for words when I found out.I have said enough. I will now retire. Or perhaps watch "Armageddon" for my Jason fix. *SLURP*As promised, the indepth revelation.Spirituality is something that I have long struggled with, and have always fought a losing battle. I was raised Catholic, attended Catholic school for seven years, and thought that "God" was important to me. I slowly "lost my faith" as the years progressed, and the day before I was to be Confirmed, I told my mother that I wasn't sure if "God" existed, and that I didn't feel right about being Confirmed.Thus began my long journey. I had a minor resurgance of faith in the 11th grade, but I chalk that up to brain-washing and the power of mass relgious out-pourings. I labeled myself as an agnostic upon entering college, and in January of this year, I decided that atheist was the more appropriate term for myself.I was a very devout atheist. I have an eternal respect for everyone and whatever they choose to believe or not to believe. Religion was just a subject that everyone knew not to bring up around me. For the most part, it wasn't a big deal.It was only in early November that Eleisha and I started to discuss our feelings on the idea of "God", "Satan", "Heaven", and "Hell". We quickly decided that we didn't have a religion. The two of us had separate beliefs about different things, and it seemed that there was no name for what we were.We were wrong.It seems very ironic to me that it was Sunday when I had my epiphany. We began researching belief systems on-line, and we have found what we "are."The generic term is "new age", and a lot of people will roll their eyes at that. That's fine. The beauty of being New Age is that you are encouraged to pick and choose from a set of beliefs and practices. We have no recognized deity, no dogma, no creed, and no holy text. It is very liberating, yet at the same time, it links us with others who feel the same way. I have never had the desire to a part of any kind of group, but this gives me a word to describe myself and people to call my peers.I have begun researching various religions on my own, and I have found that there are things about quite a few of them that I like. I have, essentially, blended them all together to make a "religion" that I feel comfortable with.I take my belief of Ch'i from Taoism. That is the organized religion that I can identify with the most. Even it has things I do not agree with, however. I could write pages and pages about this, but I'll spare everyone, including myself. I simply wanted everyone who is interested to know what has happened to me. I am very much a different person that I was just a week ago.And it is a very good thing.

Am I reading this right?

My congratulations to Joanie Laurer, formerly known as Chyna, and Sean "X-Pac" Waltman for their recent engagement. Both talents certainly contributed to WWE over the years, and I hope they find the happiness they deserve. --The Ross ReportThat is just so...wrong.

Succumbing to the inevitable...

I hate looking at the clock and knowing that I have to leave for work soon. It's all snowy outside, and a lot of schools are closed, and we're supposed to get 3-5 inches of snow with sleet mix. Lovely. And I get to go to work, and drive home at 9:00 tonight. What do you bet that the roads are slick as hell? That's all right. Everything happens for a reason, even nature.My plans fell through last night. Leish and I were supposed to go see Potter again, but she's been sick and she didn't get up when I woke her, so we didn't go. I was upset at first because she really threw my ch'i out of whack, but I centered myself, and I was all right. That is an amazing anger management technique.I think I'll buy a mini Christmas tree today. We don't have any money, but I don't care. I'm going to buy a few decorations. It's Christmas, dammit. The time for Santa and candy canes and other non-religious forms of expression. I really wish it wasn't called Christmas. That's rather insensitive to religious groups who don't recognize Christ. I shall call it X-Mas from now on. That makes me feel more comfortable.I do plan to post a bit about my life changing week, but I don't have time right now. Let's just say that I've had a spiritual revelation. No, I haven't found Jesus for all of you out there rolling your eyes. It's much different than that. I won't get into it now. And now I can't even see out of my window through the blizzardy snow. I don't care. I love snow. It's wonderful. I am hungry now, so I will go and eat before going to the hell that is my job. CVS is sooooo not good for my ch'i.

A fresh breath of air

Ahhhhhhhh, new journal, new way of living. A lot of people who know me aren't going to understand the radical change I have undergone in the last week, but that's all right. You don't have to understand, you just have to accept it.At least I'm still cryptic, eh?And yes, I'm still alive, and no, I haven't stopped musing, and yes, I'll be back, and no, probably not for a few more days. There. Does that answer all preliminary questions?